Life-shit happens but Time comes and goes I stand still in the river of life Watching everything pass me by I wonder what happens if I try I will splash my way to the depths Searching, ever finding nothing Diving, diving, diving A chance well taken, yet not Lessons learned, yet not Bliss, agony One day, one person Who will learn the most from it? Who cares Life has no lessons to be given All may be fair in... but they still sucketh much Putting a heart on the line (perhaps) Rejection happens, like shit Though it takes a special person to 180 in 24 Very special and more than slightly... Or at least confused scared selfish That is the truth is it not Fear ruled, kindness | trust | giving a go gave up Now, let us meet the newest royalty of our land You already crossed paths with Fear and lost But do you know Sadness - quite the chap At least once you get past the constant melancholy And Pain? I know you do as you inflict him on me so well So it was sung by Popper's Travelers so it shall be repeated "So desperately I sing to thee Of love Sure but also rage and hate and pain and fear of self" We won't approach Love for obviously she has no place And there is no chance for her to reside ever ever between us I will never love you as you deserve so much I would learn to love as you should be But you made clear you do not want my love, amazing kindness respect loyalty ever growing friendship, or faith in you You do not want a man who - without trying - is more of a man than your former asshole boyfriends will ever be All would be freely and gladly given in time by me All were shunned and tossed by you I am unfair I know, I am sure you Desire need someone to treat you so So why not from one who is willing One who is not there quite yet One who will take time effort to learn Ah, the female of the species So unpredictable So difficult to oft endure For your defense - if you have one - we will suppose and destroy You knew assholes, we know You met a man who shames them all, we know A man who, you saw, thinks it a joy to care about you We know that too Now Excuse enters stage left (are you ready?) Excuse me, Excuse I must ask, I have to know Who are you Why are you here Our conversation was and was not like this E \ I am whoever my mistress says, ask of her
M \ I did as you say and was left with less than nothing
E sighs \ Alright, I am surprisingly compassionate and will
help you
M \ For that I am grateful, you are already better than she
E \ We will see, but on to what you asked of me / My now
name you know, simply put as Friendship & No More
M \ Yes yes you ol' coot, I very well know your damned
name!
E \ Whoa boy! I am compassionate not a mat to walk over
M \ I beg of you, I am sorry / I can feel Bitterness
approaching and need a release
E \ I know how you feel, I hate Bitterness / I did not mean
to snap either M \ Pray continue E \ You know my name yes, but you know not what I cover
up M \ ... E \ Sorry, I have a flair for the dramatic / In the end there is
a lack of trust M \ I know, so keep going E \ She has been greatly hurt prior to now / She has trouble
trusting you to be different from the others / She believes you but cannot take the step of faith / She does not believe she will have the time you deserve / You should be hurt early and have time to move on than certainly be hurt later and worse is her reasoning M \ Wait / How does she know this without trying and taking that step E shrugs \ I cannot answer that, only she is able but she never will / She has issues of trust that go beyond you and will not have an answer until she deals with herself M sighs \ In that case we should end here / What more can you say after an observation like that E \ I know people don't normally look to Excuse for answers, but I'm glad we talked / I hope I was of some help and perhaps comfort for you M \ You did fine / Thank you for all that you have done for me this day
E \ You have been most kind and I wish to do something
special for you

While looking at my new friend
with gratitude and wonder
He shows his true form to only me
I know who Excuse-Not-Excuse was
But you will not know my source of wisdom and comfort

Hark! Our regal friends beckon our return
And so we turn back and enter the land where Bitterness
looms
You know the duchesses, earls, barons
You must, having sent them one after another at me
I wonder which of them controls you the most
For one certainly does, of this I know I know
Is it our friend Pain or Fear for it must be either or

Today is luckful for one such as you - I have no rage hate
I though, rejected fear of self and sent it back
It needs to be with its rightful owner - you

And what of trust I must
Yes I will speak of it for a time
Perchance I am alone in this thought
Though is this not the truest if I am right
When a commitment two make and one assures
Trust is the order of the day
Trust the assurer, rely on to quell fears
All will work, all will be good
Trust hope friendship and even love - at some point - build

Not for you! Better to quit while not hurt
Better to give (Pain) than to receive (Love) I suppose
Jesus was not quite right given how you do it
For we all know you get it, whatever the fuck it is

The Fab Four - wondrous wordsmiths - truly observed
"And in the end,
The love you take
Is equal to
The love you make"
Right now you will be lucky to take love
I though will take enough for both of us
For I, not you, make where I go

Still I shed my tears for you
for you and not for me
Whether I wish or not caring always for you is the price
I could have given you alone the best I can offer

Instead you will continue to search... search...
As will I, my friend, due to you truly
Perhaps you know better than I perhaps
There is better for each later in our years

Though I wrestle argue fight with Pain and Sadness
Know this, my dearer than I thought friend -
I will never forsake you I will always be your loyal friend
You will always matter to me, whether you should or not
But maybe, maybe... someday you will realise what you

Threw away